Beauty in the Unknown: The Confusing World of Dreams
How It Began
A few years ago, I had a dream that altered the course of my life, even when I wasn’t consciously aware of it.
In this dream, I stood in a black abyss. It wasn’t scary – it felt calming to be somewhere quiet. But I was confused, lost, and scared; feelings which led me to start crying.
Time passed and I noticed a figure approach. Like the dark abyss that surrounded us, I wasn’t scared by them, but I also could only see the outline of their figure. I continued to cry as they stopped directly in front of me, then asked why I was crying. Their voice was of course distorted, so I couldn’t make out what they actually sounded like.
Regardless, I said that I didn’t know how to express in words how I felt. I faintly saw them nod their head (somehow there was a really dim light which made it possible to see them do that), then asked if I preferred to sing how I felt. I did.
They stood silently in front of me as I sang with my entire heart. I don’t remember the words sung, but I remember how I felt, and it brought me immense comfort to express myself in that way. It felt like a light that was dimmed inside me was once again set aflame, and I cried tears of happiness. By the end of the dream, I felt clarity.
In the months following that dream, I felt almost haunted by it. I couldn’t fully grasp what my own mind was trying to tell me (or if it was trying to tell me anything at all). I became caught up in details that kept me from the point. Who was the figure? Why was it so dark? Of all forms of expression, why was I singing?
I eventually brushed it off as some corny nonsense. However, one day, I had an epiphany that changed how I view myself.
Caged Expression
Not long ago, I was going about my normal day. I wasn’t doing anything to prompt deep thought or significant realizations. Nonetheless, I recalled that strange dream I had some time ago.
Then it clicked. It was never the point to focus solely on the figure or how dark it was or that I was singing so comfortably.
I reflected on the period in my life that I was in around the time I had the dream. I was at a point in my life where I restricted myself in so many ways. Singing – something I once took joy in – became something I never did, not even alone. I hardly danced in front of anyone. Altogether, I repressed my delight for music because for some reason it felt like the safe thing to do. Even speaking about the things I loved started to feel embarrassing.
Before I was ever consciously aware, I knew that it had to stop; because if it continued, I would become a shell of the person I was before.
Since childhood, I knew I was made to bask in and create beauty reflective of life. Throughout life, I’ve always had an interest in just about anything and everything: from astronomy, psychology, and chemistry to every form of art that exists and then to history and mythologies.
How did recalling this dream help me fall back into fearless self-expression? Let’s take a look at the details.
Recalling and Interpreting
While I am no expert in dream interpretation, I know that each person’s brain is unique, so certain dreams might mean something different for everyone. Based on my personal history, I learned what the symbols, actions, setting, and figure in my dream meant.
The black abyss and the odd sense of comfort it brought me was symbolic of starting anew. Often, in creation stories (scientific or mythological), tell us that in the beginning, there was nothing, and from nothing came the entire universe. Despite there being nothing but darkness, it allowed boundless creation.
On a far, FAR smaller scale, I knew that the dark imagery my mind visualized meant that it was okay to begin again. Even though I couldn’t figure out WHAT to begin again, I later got it. Better late than never!
The figure was a guide I created to make me feel more comfortable expressing myself. This part was a bit more confusing to figure out. Why were they there? I usually preferred to sing by myself. I couldn’t even tell if they were a man or a woman because their voice was distorted.
Taking everything into full context, I realized that I conjured this fictional figure to push myself along when it was really needed. In real life, I wouldn’t have sung alone in front of another person, but doing so freed something in me that I didn’t know needed to be free.
How I felt while I sang and right after was the most important aspect of this dream. The feeling of something lighting up was representative of my own heart and the importance of self-expression.
If we can’t express ourselves in ways that make our hearts and minds feel free and clear, it can lead to misery.
The Importance of Dreams
I know I’ve spent a long time talking about one dream. But I want to emphasize how important it is to pay attention to your body and mind, especially your dreams. Everyone has a different opinion on dreams and if they mean anything. In my opinion, they mean as much as you make them to be.
The more you pay attention to your dreams, even if they seem silly, the more you begin to understand yourself. Most of us have dreamt about losing teeth or showing up nude to work; these common dreams are usually us warning ourselves that we’re anxious or insecure about something.
Everyone is different. Pay attention to everything combined: people, setting(s), how you feel, and what’s going on in your life at the time you had the dream. It’s not a foolproof formula as there is so more to it, but more on that another time.
Struggle to recall your dreams? Tune in for tips and tools I’ve used to master recalling dreams in depth.
What’s Next?
Dreams have a funny way of interacting with our interests and passions in vice versa. In my dreams, I often hear songs, or I’m playing an instrument. Other times, I’m teaching a class or living in the world of my new favorite book.
Alternatively, if we are doing or wanting to do a lot more of an activity, I find there is a tendency for those things to show up. Did you see a movie that you absolutely loved? You’re probably going to dream about it once or twice.
Throughout this blog, I’m going to reflect on dreams and how they influence our lives whether we know it or not.
I’ll also talk about some of my favorite things that I would recommend. For example, one of my favorite hobbies is reading, and I have a long list of books, fiction and nonfiction, that will change your view of self-expression.
